Simi Valley, CA Divorce Law Firms & Lawyers

There are several issues going on here. I would first point out that mediation might not be the worst thing, particularly if your alternative is a contested court hearing. As to the tax filing status, by the terms of your judgment you are entitled to alternate the child tax exemptions, so that is the order unless or until he files a request for order seeking to modify that provision or you agree to modify the orders.  By IRS rules, he is permitted to claim the child every year, so this is solely a family court dispute.  Is one of you receiving child support? If he claims the child on his taxes that should be reflected in your child support orders as well, either increasing the amount you receive or reducing the amount you pay, whichever applies in your situation.  This is particularly true if he is receiving a pay increase.  In addition, who has to pay for the child's medical insurance should also be governed by your judgment and accounted for in your child support orders.  Usually each parent is required to obtain insurance for the child through their respective employers if it is available at 'little or no cost' and to share the cost of obtaining insurance if it is not.  Finally, if you wish to be more involved in your child's life, or to implement a right of first refusal clause for child care, then you should attempt to resolve that issue in mediation - which I know you are reluctant to do - or file your own request for order.  Keep in mind that there are only two ways to modify your orders in any respect - 1) you come to an agreement and enter into a stipulation, 2) you go to court and the court issues an order.    Best of luck to you. 

I don't know that fathers ever get to sign a birth certificate as such. He certainly can fill out and file a formal Acknowledgement of Paternity, which he certainly ought to do. And also pay child support if the two of you are not living together. I think he should be certain to notify his NY lawyer, and see if he must notify the divorce court in NY that he is about to become a father of a non-marital child.

You can file a petition for dissolution in this situation, and if you demonstrate to the court that you have attempted to find your husband to serve him then you may be able to serve him by publication. There are specific rules to follow. Also if you do serve him by publication then the court can only enter a decree of dissolution, it cannot make nay orders dividing property or debt. You should consult with an experienced family law attorney to discuss how to do this.